Hey, what are your plans for me?”, I asked.
It was those type of conversations that you plan before hand. The kind where you unconsciously orchestrate every rythm, pause and reply in your mind’s eye.
To be sincere, even though I knew it was a good thing to gain clarity about what it was He has cooking for me, I still cannot tell if my standing there to ask was because I really wanted to hear His answer or simply to get the satisfaction. The “atleast I asked” justification.
So, as for asking, I asked. But before He could even respond, I thought it wise to start speaking. I just wasn’t sure if I was prepared for what He would say. I mean put yourself in my shoes.
I started spitting fire about goals and the things I must do with my life. Places I want to go, and the level that must be attained.
It is true that I noticed Him trying to speak at several points but the fire in my heart was huge. Oh boy, I rambled on.
Are you listening. Hmm.
Uninterrupted, the words just refused to stop bleeding. I mean this plans I was dishing out to Him where the same ones I had spent decades building. So you should understand now.
Drawing and erasing, watching other people’s structures and editing mine to make sure it was the best version.
See, I don’t have time to pretend. Allow me gist you.
An hour passed, my plans were still being expatiated like an expository essay. Pictures of my role models popped up and this gave me more words to leverage on.
Finally I was done. Felt like a marathon runner who had just reached the finish line. Pheew.
“What do you think?” I asked Him with a huge smile spread across my face. He just had to be impressed by all of this.
He was about to speak, either to reply my first question or perhaps this second one but my adrenaline was high. It was so high I could not put a pause to the sound of my voice.
So yea. Time ran out and that was how “our conversation”, sorry, “my” conversation ended.
Don’t judge me. Before you even start, maybe I should ask this.
How many times have you asked God…”What are your plans for me?”
Perhaps you even dragged your chair close and perfectly slanted your head to listen only to open your own mouth and start speaking Lol.
Why do we even ask this question if we don’t intend to listen.
Very recently, I realised just how much I needed God to help me navigate this life. How much I needed him to order my steps so my ambitious legs would not lead me out His will.
Charle! I need Him to speak and the patience to sit still and listen.
“So are you now saying, we should not have our plans but just be waiting for God to speak?”
Lol. Not exactly, by all means plan!! In fact have a book of plans, if possible print and enlarge it lol.
But then, don’t forget to always sincerely ask God, “what is your own plan for this season of my life?”
Don’t be asking and answering your own question o.
Pause, listen, and be ready to even discard your already framed list of wants if that doesn’t align with His will.
Don’t start speaking in tongues out of fear that He would say “No” to what you want. Lol.
You didn’t get that? Recap.
Plan! Dream! Aspire! But submit before Him with a willingness to strike out and rearrange everything as He directs. This is submission.
So back to our gist.
I stepped into the room for the upteenth time, my heart was heavy and feet blistered from running around without His direction. I sat down and we spoke the language of silence.
Our hearts like two lovers danced to the drum of unison. I was in a place of submission, my ears ready to pick up signals and shoded with a sprint boot that far outsped my mouth.
There was silence and I was ready to listen.
This time, He started the conversation.
“Baby girl, these are my plans for you right now”.
I took the drawing board from His hands and started to read.
“Dear Victory, this is our journey and I promise it is going to be worth the while. There’s a glorious destination ahead. My plans for you are surer than the existence of sun…”
I started smiling and continued to read His handwriting, heart beating fast to discover the many possibilities placed in front of me.
I am still reading. What about you?
Ps: Thanks for reading to the end. I am very sure that you have been blessed. Special shout out to Esther, Faith, Pelkin, Bro Jude and every one that reads this blog?. Share this with someone and have a lovely week. I love you ?.
Listen to #Breathe Spoken word Ep here: