Her mouth is about to open, and I know with 99% certainty the words that will flow through. I know this because of the slight tilt of her head to the left and the manner in which her arms are folded across her chest. I definitely cannot ignore her lips – curved in that ‘I can’t believe this’ way with her vocal chords producing a rhythmic ‘hmmm then haaa and hmmm again’ since I started speaking. I am almost sure that I know what her response will be.
Wait for it
“I think you should just pray about it”
Rolls eyes…nawa o. Why did I even talk to her?
Okay, before you tell me to calm down, I did not say that out o
I smiled and said nothing in response, but I wanted to tell her that I know I should pray.
That I have even tried to pray but the words did not leave my lips in readiness. I wanted to tell her that I sat up on my bed and let my mind roam round without really uttering a word. That I rolled the idea of prayer round my mind and then picked up my phone and surfed through instagram some more. That 2 hours passed before I decided to just sleep because it was hard to utter any word to God.
I wanted to tell her that my heart was heavy so my mouth could not talk to God but all these talk will be stressful so ‘Thank you Nkem, I will pray about it’ were my final words to her.
But you know that feeling right?
When you realise that the person you’ve been avoiding is the only one with a spare key to your house, as you misplaced your own.
So now I am asking myself why I bothered roaming the street, knocking on every door to ask if they have a key, when I could have just asked the guy next door for the spare key I know he keeps.
God, las las I am here again,
Is it okay to just sit in silence?
To close my eyes and just rest in your embrace tonight?
I have been so anxious, but I am here now.
Phil 4:6 Do not fret or have anxiety about anything, in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your requests known to God.
Hmm so you are saying that in every circumstance and in everything, before running to Herbert or Macaulay, I should just calm down and talk to you abi…thank you.
Now, I have prayed sha.
I feel like I am cuddled in a warm blanket on a cold night. My heart is smiling because I now remember this truth that managed to run out of my memory.
The truth that God wants me in a place of rest and not anxiety. I now remember that God is my glory and lifter of my head. That He cares for me and all things work together for my good. I now remember this journey and how far He has brought me.
So I rest. I rest! I rest!
I rest o, I rest!!!
Ps: Been a while guys, I just decided to share this with you. The truth is, I think about you (my readers) a lot even when I am offline and I don’t share anything here. Thanks for stopping by and I hope that this blessed you somehow. Have a lighted week ❤