I forced myself

“I got up for the umpteenth time, stretched the edges of my skirt and walked towards the window. The weather was so cold, it reminded me of past harmattan mornings. The air was hard too, making breathing a little painful. I shrugged it off and kept walking.

“He has to be her son”. I concluded after watching the intensity of the hug between a young boy and an older woman. I don’t know why I felt compelled to give a narrative to the scenario, I mean there were many beautiful reunion scenes here – this was an airport after all, but I just knew that this one would stay long in my head. Maybe, it was the wideness of the boy’s smile, or the glint in his eye as he ran towards this woman mouthing words blocked by the distance between us.

I checked my wristwatch again. 3hours had passed and the faces waiting with me kept changing. My knees were weary from the long journey.

But, I am sure my ears did not cook up these words, “wait at the airport when you arrive, I will come pick you”. I can swear that the syllables meant more to me than anything I had heard in the last 48 hours. It was a relief and if it were not for the distance and the fact that communication was limited to a phone call, I would have hugged him tight and left my thank you sob in his breast pocket. But in this moment, trying to balance walking on my white heels and pencil skirt, I’m not so sure anymore.

It is 30 mins to six by my watch. I pick up my box by its handle and roll it away following the feet of the other passengers out of the airport.

I will find my way in this city.”

He arrived at 25 mins to six, but she was no longer at the airport.

So what do you think? You ever been in her shoes where you just had to keep waiting for a result, a person, or a breakthrough?

Last week, I found myself thinking about how hard waiting can be. I remembered different scenarios where I had to wait for something until I began to feel like a person waiting for a train to arrive at an airport.


My point really is this: Waiting can be hard work.


I felt a tinge of pity n my heart when I read about Saul’s waiting dilemma in 1 Samuel 13:12.
In his own words,

“I said, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the favor of the LORD.’ So I forced myself, and offered the burnt offering.”


It was a serious situation, a war was about to begin, they could not start unless a sacrifice was made and Prophet Samuel was not around to do it. The people started to talk, the pressure on him was huge. He walked to the window several times hoping to catch a glimpse of Prophet Samuel’s face afar off.

There was no sign!
Chale, was he sure this man would show up?

Biko let me help myself.

As soon as he finished offering the sacrifice, Prophet Samuel showed up.

chei (hands on head).

Another instance I want to share with you is someone called Achan in the book of Joshua chapter 7.

The Israelites went to war against Jericho and like an African father pulling at his hear to give his child instructions, God told them “don’t take the accursed and devoted things in the land of Jericho…”

Now Achan did otherwise. I mean it must have been hard looking away from the silver and gold… but what about the instruction?

So, Achan took the silver and gold and hid them in his room.

He died because of that.

Do you know the sad part of the whole story? Wait for it.

Just one chapter later, the people went to war against city Ai and guess what?

God told them to take the booty and spoils of war for themselves.
Hands on head. My chest, my heart, tears! This is serious!

But Achan, if only you had waited a little bit longer, you would have gotten silver and gold “legally”.

May we never force ourselves.

As simple as this may seem, there are great lessons to be learnt.

Waiting may seem like hard work, but we should rest and watch because God promised that He would show up and better still, we can trust Him to show up just in time.

So yes, I won’t force myself, I’ll sit whilst fanning the fire of expectancy in my eye.

He will show up.
I will not force myself. Mbanu (never).


Thanks for reading people.

Ps: Guess what? We would be moving to our permanent site very soon.

I just purchased a domain name and a permanent site is being constructed. Also, I am working on a compilation of these #keepingfaith series from time past because I want you to have them like a book on your phone or PC so that you can share with friends and read as many as you want to at a sitting…
Awesome right?

What do you think? I am really excited about this and can’t wait to share with you.

Listen to Breathe Spoken Word Ep here:


Watch spoken word video here:


Victory Osarumwense

Popularly called Victory Osas is a Financial Analyst by day and a creative storyteller with every breath she takes. She is the kind of person who would take the window sit in a car just to look at the people walking by. She says that people are walking stories and often finds a way to wrap ordinary moments that people would overlook to her works.

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