“Bunmi, can you believe I have never received a Valentine’s gift in my entire years of living in this world?”
“Lol Simi, why are you now sounding like that.”
“Like you have been robbed of something valuable.
Like you just found a deformity in your body.
Like this is some deep revelation.
Lol, you have never received Valentine’s gift before and so what?”
“Wow, just wow. You actually sound so insensitive right now. You really cannot relate to my situation. I wish I never brought it up”. Sighs.
“Ha Simi, I’m very sorry if I made you feel somehow. It is just the fact that you are referring to it as a ‘situation’,
Like it’s some problem to be fixed, a pothole to be filled, a trash to be emptied?
Why do you even want Valentine gift?”
“Ahan what kind of question is that? To feel loved of course.”
“Oh okay, so if you don’t get Valentine gift, it now means nobody loves you ba?”
“Well…I mean, it just makes it obvious that I’m single and…” Bunmi interrupts
“Lol you are single and IT IS OBVIOUS already, why is it today that it will become more obvious?”
“As I was saying before you cut in. It just makes me wish I had a ‘special someone'”.
“Hmmm, I know how you feel dear, I’m also single by the way, I and Temi broke up”.
“Oh really? What happened?’
The question held shock in its belly and Simi could tell that Bunmi’s ears were tingly, waiting for the gist. Of course to her, this gist had to be something weighty enough to explain why Simi no longer mentioned Temi in sentences unprovoked. How she no longer asked over and over again if she thought he really liked her. How she moved on.
She asked again, “tell me now, what happened?”
“I just never want to feel that way again.”
‘Like I am begging,
Arms stretched out,
Heart in my palm offering on a platter
With tears in my eyes.”
“And then he peeks like a curious passerby through a Lagos crowd, standing on toes and stretching neck forward to examine ‘this thing’ I offer on a platter.”
“He reluctantly touches with his fingers first, then tosses and turns it swiftly with the expert motion of a woman pricing meat in the market. Her gait and pose layered with indecision as she stares casually at the other meat sellers.
After all this drama, he leans back, grabs a tissue to clean the tip of fingers and says he doesn’t want me…
The same way I would to the young men who beckon to me at Yaba market sometimes attempting to touch my wrist and in one swift motion I dodge, and give them that ‘if you touch me‘ look.
So there it is”.
“Hian, I don’t understand this explanation abeg.”
“Okay, in simple words, washing away the layers of literary makeup, I am trying to say that…hmmm…
I never want to feel like I am begging for anybody’s affection.”
“Wow, Simi…proud of you”
“Lol why, abeg abeg…shoves aside the compliment in her usual manner?
“That you know your worth and are not scared of being single.”
“Scared kwa? Is singleness a nightmare?
Biko don’t get me wrong o. I yearn for love but with the right person and at the right time…
One more thing, I won’t let the pressure to feel among get to me. I will wait for the right kind of love, you should too.”
“Wow Simi, thanks for this reminder. I also don’t want to feel that way. I will wait for God’s choice.”
Ps: Happy Valentine Day. Warm reminder that God has always loved you and that truth is just enough 🥰.
I wrote this at 4am this morning. It is prose mixed with poetry (Poetic prose) and quite spontaneous too lol. Oh also it is fiction and the spelling of “FALANTINE is intentional biko 😅.